I now understand how much of an intricate and important role a father plays in the life of their children, especially his daughters. Unfortunately, I dod not have the experience of having the consistent presence of my biological dad in my life and in many ways it was a tragedy. His absence left me with a skewed way of viewing relationships with the opposite sex where often times, I drew to the conclusion that love was on the basis of sexual intercourse.
I dont know how I ever believed the lie that all of my needs, emotional, psychological, physical, etc. would be met by having sex with a partner I cared about. There was still this broken and hollow part of me that desired to be filled from the absence of my dad.
I used to wear tight fitted clothes, accentuated my breasts. Tried my best to draw attention to what I thought was the most important part of me, my body. Until I was introduced to my husband. He was the first man that truly respected me as the irreplaceable, masterful work of art that God had created me to be. So much so in fact, he was the first man to say, "Dana, could you cover up your breast." In amazement and total embarrassment to some degree, I slowly grabbed my zipper on my jacket and zipped it up.
He told me that I was much more than my physical attributes. He was interested in my academic pursuits, my goals, my dreams, my hopes, my fears, my shame, my hurts, my pains....he was interested in being my best friend, my confidant, my counselor, and what I appreciated most is that he wasnt concerned about always giving me what I want but giving me what I needed in order to help me to be the woman I am today.
My husband walks with me, and talks with me and ALWAYS come home. He can be trusted; faithful and has helped and healed me in so many ways. He invests and is forgiving because a sistah came with a lot of baggage but my baggage was something he was equipped to help me sort through. He has been a blessing to me in so many ways, I cant say thank you to God enough. Grateful that he wants what is best for me.
I think what makes growing up without a father is such a tragedy is that I started to believe that my dad's disinterest in being apart of his children's lives meant God was just as disinterested which made Him seem even more distant. However, God's word says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." His word also says, he will take us up when our biological parents arent present in our lives. There was nothing more comforting to hear. And so it is with you Diamonds that have grown up without the presence of your biological fathers. God loves you and is willing to walk with you, talk with you and call you his own. I can testify that I grew up most of my life feeling rejected, but Im grateful that I am accepted in the beloved through faith in Christ. And the beautiful thing about it is that God loves me; He always have and always will. I can never do anything that will separate me from His love. He gives me every reason to trust Him at his word because so many times I believed my father when he said, " I'll be back," just to be disappointed and lies to, but God, God is not like man that He should tell a lie. He is all the way TRUTH!
He is my Father, and more importantly, those who believe in His Son, Jesus Christ can become children of God too! Beloveds, there is more room for God to receive you and love you too!
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